This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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