So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
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Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize