I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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