And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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