you would pick up someone in the library
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
