hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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