don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize