I'm drive I can fine osifer
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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