New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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