So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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