if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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