erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
