That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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