My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
