seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
