Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.

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(916): I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy. http://tfl.nu/1tnq

Replies (7) Good night (1858) Bad night (542)
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(515): View more from Iowa

i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.

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(515): i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move. http://tfl.nu/cgsd

Replies (22) Good night (967) Bad night (4404)
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(954): View more from Florida

woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student

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(954): woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student http://tfl.nu/4vc9

Replies (38) Good night (18879) Bad night (902)
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(607): View more from New York

haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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(607): haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook. http://tfl.nu/7oed

Replies (54) Good night (18840) Bad night (929)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

Wtf? What happened?

(931): View more from Tennessee

Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.

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(931): Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other. (1-931): Wtf? What happened? (931): Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home. http://tfl.nu/q0zo

Replies (42) Good night (17852) Bad night (1118)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.

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(519): I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/2sao

Replies (12) Good night (4556) Bad night (1133)
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(770): View more from Georgia

who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!

(404): View more from Georgia

you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.

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(770): who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!! (404): you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship. http://tfl.nu/9p9t

Replies (36) Good night (6673) Bad night (1534)
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(916): View more from California

Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash

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(916): Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash http://tfl.nu/rtwe

Replies (9) Good night (2362) Bad night (682)
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(909): View more from California

No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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(909): No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets. http://tfl.nu/zkqt

Replies (6) Good night (2100) Bad night (653)
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(970): View more from Colorado

How do you feel?

(1-970): View more from Colorado

Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.

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(970): How do you feel? (1-970): Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again. http://tfl.nu/th8n

Replies (6) Good night (1007) Bad night (1535)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.

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(920): I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with. http://tfl.nu/59np

Replies (4) Good night (818) Bad night (411)
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(845): View more from New York

Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins

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(845): Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins http://tfl.nu/if6l

Replies (6) Good night (1422) Bad night (584)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.

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(413): he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/bd7x

Replies (3) Good night (1424) Bad night (414)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I need rollerblades now

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Rollerblades pick up bitches

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(774): I need rollerblades now (774): Rollerblades pick up bitches http://tfl.nu/hoew

Replies (7) Good night (983) Bad night (411)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.

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(248): I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA. http://tfl.nu/2xdx

Replies (8) Good night (495) Bad night (821)

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