I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
There r osticjed everywhere
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.