Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad

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  (913): if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad http://tfl.nu/tveg
  Replies (14) Good night (813) Bad night (2599)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...

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  (970): i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it... http://tfl.nu/aspw
  Replies (4) Good night (649) Bad night (2911)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.

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  (503): You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living. http://tfl.nu/kso8
  Replies (14) Good night (2744) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.

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  (317): I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking. http://tfl.nu/ymvd
  Replies (52) Good night (3953) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.

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  (+49): This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood. http://tfl.nu/u9vs
  Replies (7) Good night (3951) Bad night (1180)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing

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  (573): If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing http://tfl.nu/6uck
  Replies (10) Good night (2506) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.

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  (209): I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/cws8
  Replies (23) Good night (960) Bad night (3233)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.

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  (906): Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think. http://tfl.nu/xmje
  Replies (7) Good night (1402) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.

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  (612): I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed. http://tfl.nu/r67y
  Replies (17) Good night (675) Bad night (1468)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.

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  (760): I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death. http://tfl.nu/3p5q
  Replies (12) Good night (1380) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"

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  (321): Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo" http://tfl.nu/3ea4
  Replies (8) Good night (998) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.

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  (847): I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message. http://tfl.nu/fe15
  Replies (1) Good night (1307) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore

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  (512): The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore http://tfl.nu/9q9y
  Replies (4) Good night (399) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.

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  (304): I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb. http://tfl.nu/b1k3
  Replies (7) Good night (495) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes

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  (561): If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes http://tfl.nu/y5re
  Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (214)

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