Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
