I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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