It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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