It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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