U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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