I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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