so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize