Sry I called you an 8
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died