shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I AM VODKA MAN
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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