I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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