So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
