Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize