just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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