Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
