You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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