Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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