It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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