I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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