Please, let me fuck your mom
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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