Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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