the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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