and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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