She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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