Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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