I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
