im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
