and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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