a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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