She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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