i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
