They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
