Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
