it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
