I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My pussy is not your playground.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
