"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
