dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
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the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
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I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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