just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
soo... how was my night?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
