so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize