i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
tell me about the fingering
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