i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
