WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
