i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
