i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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