Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
wow bdsm is so cute
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
