remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
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