What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
