atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize