PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
