Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
