Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
