I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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