Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
