Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
