I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
